Look for select posts from the Daily Brick in the editorial section of the Review! That is all.

Welcome back everyone! How was your summer? Wait, don’t tell me- write a two page paper explaining it, and submit it to my drop box via WebCT.

Alright, shall we get started?

Great.

Somewhere between the long weekends at the Swedish spa, and the week-long bender in southern France, I called my personal assistant back in sunny Pennsylvania to check on the valuation of my estate. Humphrey told me I had a large envelope waiting back at home from the UD. Hearing this sent chills up my spine. Receiving such a large envelope in the mail from the University immediately hearkens back to those anxious days spent waiting with baited breath for acceptance letters. I immediately raced home to investigate. Emblazoned across the front was the following:

IMPORTANT

Information for Students Living On Campus.

Please respond within 15 days.

I then noted the envelope’s heft, and the fact it was addressed to my parents. Thinking it was perhaps a list of conduct violations, and not wishing them to know the extent to which my Cousteausean fountain expeditions had expanded, I tore into it.

By now, some of you have gotten ahead of me, and know what was inside. Ads for bedsheets, care packages, and a computer backup solution.

Now, I’m no stranger to spam- UD’s group email mailing lists have made certain of that. But to have corporate shills arriving under the guise of official university correspondence is borderline outrageous. With the recent expose on college loan kickbacks, I would hope Delaware would be trying to keep its image
spotless. Using your students (who are, may I add, paying customers) as a targeted advertising demographic is both kinda slimy and possibly illegal. Most organizations must explicitly express intent to share member information with third parties, or provide targeted advertising. I’d be curious to hear what a University official has to say regarding student consent and contractual agreement to such a “service”. As far as any assurance that this is an isolated incident? We’ll wait and see. Until then, I’m not buying it.

Today I spent a good part of the day absorbing the veritable sea of media coverage of the tragic shootings at Virginia Tech. In my surfing, I came across a BBC article about campus security entitled “How do colleges try to keep students safe?” Of note was the name-dropping of our fair institution:

At the University of Delaware, in the quiet town of Newark, for instance, students simply carry key cards to enter halls of residence. Colleges often insist that students sign in their guests, but according to many students, that rule is rarely enforced.

Even if universities have security measures in place, they can hardly prepare for violence on the level of the Virginia Tech shootings.

“There are no metal detectors or anything like that to get into the dorms, so if this person had a key card, there would be nothing preventing him from walking in with a gun,” said Kaitlin Hoffman, a 2005 graduate of the University of Delaware.

“You hope that you’re safe, particularly in a small town like Newark,” she added. “But events like this make you think otherwise.”

Aside from the misconception about guest sign-ins (don’t hold the door, kids), Kaitlin raises an excellent point. A lack of walls and metal detectors on a public college campus, that is. The article concludes with an infographic depicting a “model campus security” situation resembling an embassy or military installation- but for learning!

In my infinite wisdom, I have come up with my own take on possible security utopia:

HOW MODEL CAMPUS SECURITY COULD WORK Few campuses have elaborate security, but experts suggest the following options could help keep staff and students safe 1) Wall provides physical barrier between campus and the real world, keeping the rest of society safe from free thinking and STDs 2) Small petting zoo attracts prospective students 3) Advanced technology will placate disgruntled with illusion of being in the traditionally calming airport atmosphere 4) Cameras mounted throughout campus will allow university to market its own reality show to producers 5) Justin Timberlake broadcast system 6) Wingdings

Humor aside, campus security is a growing concern. As evidenced by the frequent crime in Newark, and the shootings in Blacksburg, a small-town setting does not preclude crime and tragedy. Effective law-enforcement, public education, and increased mindfulness among students, faculty, and the community is the solution. An unfortunate reality of the “Virginia Tech Massacre” is the unexpected and random aspect. You can’t prepare for such cold brutality. We can, however, let it make us smarter, more aware, and more sensible about our vulnerability.

A lovely quote from Anthony Goldston, coordinator of our Intramural sports program:

I don’t like soccer. If I had my way there would be no soccer. You’re just lucky I like all you guys, so we can have it.

Furthermore, get off his lawn.

Regarding “Internet causes rift between man and nature“:

The commentary provided by Jeff Ruoss hearkens back to a simpler time, when the worth of a man wasn’t judged on the height of his collar, but the amount of fresh animal meat he could drag home after a grueling day on the hunt. In his words, “With the advent of the computer age, however, society has lost touch with its once daily ritual of searching for food.” Ah yes, the computer age, when man traded in his sharpened rocks and leather thongs for a PSP and Monster Energy Drink. One may posit a small gap in Jeff’s historical timeline; say, a handful of millenia.

As it turns out, modern hunting as sport has been disconnected from the throes of survival since long before the first Photoshopped image of a cat was printed in
Boston, Massachusetts in 1823.

I suggest Mr. Ruoss take issue with supermarkets, commercial livestock farming, long-distance cold shipping, vacuum packaging, semiautomatic weapons, urban development, electricity, modern roadway infrastructure, and possibly fire in his list of enemies of the primitive hunting lifestyle before he feels the need to point the finger at an internet hunting site targeted toward morons.

Welcome to the Daily Brick! We’re just getting started up here, so if you have any ideas, comments, or just want to say hello, drop us a line at udbrick@gmail.com. More will be coming shortly.